-
YMCA Water Is Only 1% Water (99% Old People Hair)
Raph & Carolyn hold weights and wear a mouth prop for the entire episode. The traffic news blows up.
-
News Anchor Wants to Sell You His Smelly Car
Carolyn ignores the weather to pitch her screenplay. Raph tells a starchy story about girl's sports.
-
“I Hate My Kids” Says Most Moms
Ryan Creamer & Trapp report on a saucy skating event. Elaine Carroll freestyle raps about Netflix.
-
Conservative Man Accidentally Donates $1 Million to Redtube
Grant & Rekha talk hot topics & topical hotness. Ryan Creamer covers a bird birth at a Clippers game.
-
Announcing Frozen 3, Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire
Grant & Raph report on rabies babies. Zac Oyama shows how many marshmallows can fit in his mouth.
-
BTK Killer Gives a Foreboding Weather Forecast
Hulk Jr. improvises a eulogy and Shukri R. Abdi mimes her report on a live nuclear strike.
-
News Crew Plans Terrible Trip to the Beach
Ryan Creamer reports on the wet weather and tries to whistle with a spoonful of flour in his mouth.
-
Special Musical Broadcast Really Wails
Shukri and Ally perform music for Brennan and Ryan to dance to.
-
A Report from the CollegeHumor Office
Trapp & Katie read a riveting report from the office. The team shares their favorite Grant memories.
-
U2 Gets Me Too’d at a Scooby Doo Read-Through
Local man Roger rants about snake socks. Brennan reports from a county fair that’s lost its bear.
-
Millennials Are Ruining Our Trash
Lily and Mano reveal that brains don't do anything. Carolyn lists off everything millennials have ever ruined.
-
Mom Disappointed in Son… Again
Rekha tells a meaty maternal story about Trapp, and Brennan dives into Breaking News lore.
-
God Does a Really Mean Impression of John Lithgow
Straight from the Vatican, our news team report that God just fucking HATES actor John Lithgow.
-
My Weekend Was the Plot of Mrs. Doubtfire
Erika tries to understand the nuances of Mrs. Doubtfire while Brennan explains sin-based weather.
-
Hot Dogs Are Made from People (but Still Tasty)
Kellen and Zac report on the truth behind hot dogs. Tao warns of a product recall on dildos.
-
Good Morning, River View High!
The student news team at River View High School bring you the latest news on field trip tragedies.
-
Welcome to Bug News
A bunch of bugs bring you the latest in bug news. Buzz buzz!
-
Brian Hitler Is One of the 10 Worst Brians
Trapp tries to name the worst Brians while Brennan explains exactly how to talk to your neighbors.
-
I'm Getting a FaceTime from a Greasy Little Puppet
The news crew report on the Wight Savior Country Musical Festival and how not to flirt.
-
Handshakes for Men, Hugs for Women
Amy shows off some new dances. Brennan is a 12 year old trapped in an adult's body.
-
All Hail Cello Chigglers!
Patrick reveals he's Mrs. Butterworth's loving husband while Lily reports from inside your anus.
-
Spit in Your Hand to Honor the Troops
Ryan and Amy do the hot new dance craze that’s sweeping the nation.
-
True Confessions of Real Newscasters
Rekha and Becca reveal their actual experiences and opinions. Grant shows off his best impressions.
-
Making Peanut Butter Sandwiches with a Bowling Ball
Zac talks about a hostage situation gone wrong, while Ally gets real about a missing persons case.
-
Huge Idiot Climbs Mount Everest
Carolyn reveals she never saw It: Chapter Two while Kellen reports on a group of arm-loving doctors.
Season Leaderboard
| Name | Episodes | Points |
| Carolyn Page | 5 |
|
| Ally Beardsley | 7 |
|
| Amy Vorpahl | 3 |
|
| Grant O'Brien | 6 |
|
| Erika Ishii | 3 |
|
| Ryan Creamer | 7 |
|
| Tao Yang | 6 |
|
| Kellen Schneider | 5 |
|
| Rekha Shankar | 9 |
|
| Brennan Lee Mulligan | 7 |
|
| Zac Oyama | 5 |
|
| Elaine Carroll | 3 |
|
| Raphael Chestang | 6 |
|
| Mike Trapp | 6 |
|
| Laci Mosley | 2 |
|
| Camirin Farmer | 2 |
|
| Mano Agapion | 2 |
|
| Becca Scott | 2 |
|
| Patrick McDonald | 2 |
|
| Lily Du | 3 |
|
| Shukri R. Abdi | 2 |
|
| Ashleigh Crystal Hairston | 1 |
|
| Katie Marovitch | 6 |
|